Tomorrow Second Chance Quote........

 "Life always offers you a second chance. It's called Tomorrow."

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Addiction.....

I have struggled in the past with alcohol. It was my go to in order to cope with things. I knew things were getting bad and I had to take charge of the situation. My family had no idea that my drinking was bad. My awaking moment was when I drank so much and had a one night stand. I was not one to do things like this. I just gave up drinking and I haven't had a drink in 7 years. 

My past struggle weighs on my mind because I watch someone i know go through the same thing. I see this person basically waste away before my eyes. I can tell them how much using isn't really helping them, but in the end they will only stop when they want to. I know how much they are hurting. I can see it. The pain is visible. I wish I knew how to get through to them and get them to see the light. Get them to understand that there are other ways to cope.  My biggest fear is that sometime soon I will find out the worst has happened. I hope that someone is able to get through to them before then.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Project Unbreakable.....

 Awhile ago on Facebook, a friend of mine shared a link to a post on BuzzFeed. It was for Project Unbreakable. In this post I watched a video about a lady named Grace who was helping bring to light something no one talks about, sexual assault. It is the abuse that is whispered about because the victims feel ashamed and everyone else is basically clueless. Grace gives the victims, no, I mean survivors a voice. A chance to take back what was stolen from them.

In the video a person holds up a sign that has what their perpetrator said on it. It is what they said to them. When I watched this I cried. I remember myself being told so many times "You better not cry.". Stuff like that sticks with you. I have a hard time to this day crying in front of people. I have to hold my emotions in check.

What this woman is doing is remarkable. She is helping so many people have a voice again. I recommend checking out the post on BuzzFeed. I will post links. 

BuzzFeed Project Unbreakable Post #1

BuzzFeed Project Unbreakable Post #2

Project Unbreakable Tumblr

Project Unbreakable Facebook

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Forgiveness.......

Forgiveness. It is a simple word but a complicated task. Webster's Dictionary defines it as " To stop feeling anger (toward someone who has done something wrong)"

So when someone does something wrong should I automatically forgive them? I would say no. If you say that you forgive the person and then continuously bring up the action that caused the anger, is that forgiving? No it's not. By bringing up the action, it causes you to become angry again. Therefore you are back to square one. 

Why do I say all of this you ask? Well I have been tackling the topic of forgiveness for quite some time. I've spent 33 years being angry at SD (Sperm Donor) for what he did to me. I have never forgiving him. Then last year I started making a breakthrough in my process to help me. SD calls me on my phone. He thinks that it's my sister's phone. I've had it with seeing his number pop up on my phone. I want him to stop. I call him but he doesn't answer. He calls me back I answer the phone. He starts talking and I tell him softly at first to stop calling my phone. I just keep repeating it. Then he calls me "baby". I snap, and go off on him. I tell him what I think of him and at the end I say " I hope you rot in H**L and f**k off!" It felt so good to say that. I was shaking and crying. Luckily I group immediately afterward so I had some support. I was in a daze. I realize that the reason is because he didn't fight back. He didn't mind hitting people years ago and verbally abusing us but he didn't fight back with me. I think in all the years when I have imagined confronting him he fought back, so I was a little mad. I got to say what I wanted, so in the end I won.

Why tell you that story? After I confronted him via phone, it was like a weight was lifted off of me. All this anger and aggression I have been holding onto was slightly alleviated. I know I will never love that man. What he did was wrong on so many levels. I had always said that I would never forgive him. He hurt me too bad. It was as if one day I just realized that at some point I could forgive. It will not be today nor tomorrow, but somewhere far in the future I would be able to forgive. 

So why did I say all this? You can forgive the person who hurts you. Just do it on your timetable. If you forgive before you are truly ready, you are not really forgiving.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Quote....

I found this inspirational quote on Pinterest.

 "Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." ~~Rumi

 

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Quote.....

I found this inspirational quote on Pinterest.

"One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together."

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

PTSD....

Do you know someone or have you met someone with PTSD but never really knew what it meant. Most of us associate this disorder with combat. I have PTSD but I have never been to War. The definition to PTSD as listed on Psychology Today is:

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that may develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which severe physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or unnatural disasters, accidents, or military combat."

The thing about being a "civilian" with this is you are basically labeled a mental case. No one really knows what to do except pump you full of meds and call it a day. I agree that medicine is needed to a point, but you have to do more to help.We need more alternatives. Things that can help us cope and not feel like we are doped up on a ton of meds. 

I've been down the road where you are so medicated that you are basically a zombie. It's not fun. We discussed this topic in group and that is why I bring it up today on my post. We tend to be labeled and then tossed aside and forgotten. I am lucky that this time around I have a therapist and people who listen to me and do classify me. Not everyone is that lucky. My wish is that one day we will all be healthy and happy and not have to worry about things like this.

Until then I know that one day I will over come this and that it will just be another obstacle I took down.

Here is another article on PTSD over at NYDailyNews.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Changes....

I realize more and more that life changes. The one thing that a trauma patient hates is change. We want everything to be consistent and stay consistent. This past year and a half I have worked hard at getting my life back on track. The one thing that they told me over and over was that things will change. I really didn't listen. I should have. I'm starting school this Summer so that is a big change. My group that I meet with seems to be parting ways. I am sad about this. I know that we need each other. I know that life is about change and I have to accept it. As hard as that may be.  I'm going to be okay. 

Here is my inspirational quote that I found on Pinterest: 

"Change can be scary, but you know what's scarier? Allowing Fear to stop you from Growing, Evolving and Progressing."~~Mandy Hale

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

A Book That Helped Me.....

 I found that reading was/is a big help with things. I found some books on Amazon that were of interest to me. They are fictional but they also deal with the subject matter of abuse.I loved this book. It made me cry. Sometimes that is what you just need to do. I discuss the book with my therapist too. The book I recommend is called:

The Final Piece by Maggie Myers

 Book Blurb:

Life shouldn’t be about picking up the pieces.

Beth Bradshaw has spent her life hiding from her tragic past. From the moment a trusted family friend steals her innocence until the moment another rescues her, she struggles to just survive.

Surrounded by the comfort and protection of her extended family, Beth embarks on a journey of healing far from the horrors of her home. In her darkest moments, she meets a boy named Ryan. For one incredible summer, Ryan shows Beth what it’s like to act her own age.

To feel free and let go.
If only for a while.

Years later, another tragedy threatens to shatter the life Beth has carefully crafted. When faced, yet again, with more pieces to pick up, Beth begins to question what her choices have cost her.
Leaving her old life behind, she sets forth on a pilgrimage that will bring her back to the boy she could never forget. He wants to help her pick up the pieces of her life, but is she willing to do what it takes to become whole again?

Can she trust him with a piece of herself?

 If you want to purchase it you can go to Amazon.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt

I Myself Am Made........

 I found this quote on Pinterest:

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions." ~~Augusten Burroughs

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt